So first I thought I would list all the things I haven't done- maybe for some self motivation or maybe so that I will be told off enough that I will get it done.
- No baby registry
- Haven't wash ANY baby clothes or hung them up
-No real birth plan
-No name picked out yet! (that's the big, I know!)
To make myself feel like I'm not a total slacker...
- Maternity leave paper work is done and set up
- We are booked for parenting classes
- I am booked for a reflexology appointment and a massage ( it's not technically lifetime achievements, but...)
- Baby's room is cleared out
- Private scan for peanut is next Saturday the 10th
Its weird how I can feel so many different emotions all within the same day. At times I feel elated and completely overwhelmed by my little miracle and other times I am bored of waiting and anxious to get things going. Overall, I'm very excited and I'm dying to see what he will look like. Most of all, I'm in love with a man I've never met- but I know the moment he is in my arms everything in the world will be right. For now I will have to settle for bumps and kicks from my future rugby player :)
Saturday 3 September 2011
Wednesday 13 July 2011
Time goes by...so slowly..
Today marks 22 weeks and 3 days...roughly 123 days to go until Baby Blosser arrives. Perhaps 121 days f we get the 11/11/11 date :)
I'm starting to feel as if time has completely come to a screeching halt. 123 days seems like the longest wait of my life. I know that it won't be and I know there is PLENTY to do in the mean time, but I feel like someone put me on slow mo and has hidden to remote! I've started telling time by movement. I know its getting close to lunch because he starts harassing me to feed him (already a Blosser!). I know I've had a good workout because he settles for a while and then he gets all geared up for bedtime. It's amazing what these fleeting little movements feel like. It's like someone else has stolen my body (which is technically true) and has poked me from the inside. It's still strange, but it is still the most comforting and reassuring thing. Now that he is moving, I worry so much less. I have noticed myself physically and emotionally relax. I do not have control anymore and I have accepted that he will do what he wants when he wants....typical man.
I have finally started to grow a bump and people are beginning to believe me when I say I'm expecting. I still get the "your so small" line from time to time...but I'm sure one day soon I'm going to wake up and wonder what happened to my body. For now, I am content with my belly and as long as my peanut is OK that's all that matters.
I'm starting to feel as if time has completely come to a screeching halt. 123 days seems like the longest wait of my life. I know that it won't be and I know there is PLENTY to do in the mean time, but I feel like someone put me on slow mo and has hidden to remote! I've started telling time by movement. I know its getting close to lunch because he starts harassing me to feed him (already a Blosser!). I know I've had a good workout because he settles for a while and then he gets all geared up for bedtime. It's amazing what these fleeting little movements feel like. It's like someone else has stolen my body (which is technically true) and has poked me from the inside. It's still strange, but it is still the most comforting and reassuring thing. Now that he is moving, I worry so much less. I have noticed myself physically and emotionally relax. I do not have control anymore and I have accepted that he will do what he wants when he wants....typical man.
I have finally started to grow a bump and people are beginning to believe me when I say I'm expecting. I still get the "your so small" line from time to time...but I'm sure one day soon I'm going to wake up and wonder what happened to my body. For now, I am content with my belly and as long as my peanut is OK that's all that matters.
Monday 13 June 2011
Waiting on #20
I am nearly two months to the day since I wrote last time. Today I am 18 weeks and 1 day (yes! every day counts!). We found out on May 31st that our little peanut, who is not so peanut like now, is a boy! A boy....it took about a day for this to really register with me. I will have a beautiful, sweet little boy in about 22 weeks. When I think back on it, I realize that I wanted to have a boy all along. I dreamed of catching frogs, playing tee ball and stepping on Matchbox cars in the middle of the night as I check in on my little man. Maybe I feel this way because all of the men in my life have always been amazing and have always been protective over me. They have all showed me how a woman should be treated. I have certainly always been a Daddy's girl. :) I consider this my turn to give back to the wonderful men in my life by raising my own little boy.
When I saw him on the screen during the ultrasound my heart melted. This little being is mine...my wonderful gift that I still haven't figured out how I got lucky enough to deserve. All I think of and pray for now is a healthy pregnancy. While I've been impatient, I am trying to teach myself to enjoy the mundane days of waiting for "action" that I am currently experiencing. I'm holding on to every precious memory I make because I want to remember this feeling forever.
Here's to a handsome little boy who Mommy already loves so very much.
When I saw him on the screen during the ultrasound my heart melted. This little being is mine...my wonderful gift that I still haven't figured out how I got lucky enough to deserve. All I think of and pray for now is a healthy pregnancy. While I've been impatient, I am trying to teach myself to enjoy the mundane days of waiting for "action" that I am currently experiencing. I'm holding on to every precious memory I make because I want to remember this feeling forever.
Here's to a handsome little boy who Mommy already loves so very much.
Thursday 14 April 2011
It's official...
I have made to executive decision to turn my blog that I said I was going to do (and haven't) into a BABY blog! Yep, a baby blog. My how the tides have changed...
I need a place to talk about all of my hopes and fears and woes of pregnancy. Dear husband is tired of hearing every statistic under the sun, so why not share it here?
As of today I am 8 weeks and 4 days. This is amazing...how does something so tiny (a kidney bean to be exact) turn into a living, breathing little person? The creation of life is wonderful opportunity.
I am thrilled about being a mother. I see babies and children all day at work and I dream about my own little peanut. I wonder if he/she will look like me or Ryan...what color will their eyes be...what color will their hair be? I'm starting to think that this was my plan all along. To be a mother; there is nothing in this world that I want more.
I am beginning to feel pregnant, especially in the last few days. The morning sickness has decided to appear in the middle of the night and my skin officially hates me and anything I put on it. But I am indulging in every moment because now I know how quickly those moments can be taken away.
I was angry when I lost the first pregnancy. I was angry at myself and everyone else. I needed someone or something to blame and it took time to realize that I had nowhere to place that blame. After that I was sad..very sad. All I wanted was to continue on like nothing had happened and like I had doctor's appointments to schedule and decisions to make about baby furniture. Instead, I was empty; literally and figuratively. I have never experienced grief of such magnitude and I had no idea what to do with it. I have to say that even though I have not gone to church in a very long time and am not the first to jump on the religion train; I prayed. I prayed a lot. I prayed mostly for a chance to breathe and heal my wounds. I prayed for Ryan to have hope and understanding. But mostly I prayed for a little miracle to find me again.
Those six weeks felt like an eternity. In hindsight, I was very lucky. Here we are, waiting on baby. This time with a cautious happiness. I enjoy each day and consider every little moment a milestone. While I'm not approving of nausea or acne, I know it is for a good cause :)
I wish I had a way to see the future just to see how everything works out. I guess it wouldn't be nearly as exciting if I already knew the ending. I'll just have to write this story one day at a time.
Til then..
I need a place to talk about all of my hopes and fears and woes of pregnancy. Dear husband is tired of hearing every statistic under the sun, so why not share it here?
As of today I am 8 weeks and 4 days. This is amazing...how does something so tiny (a kidney bean to be exact) turn into a living, breathing little person? The creation of life is wonderful opportunity.
I am thrilled about being a mother. I see babies and children all day at work and I dream about my own little peanut. I wonder if he/she will look like me or Ryan...what color will their eyes be...what color will their hair be? I'm starting to think that this was my plan all along. To be a mother; there is nothing in this world that I want more.
I am beginning to feel pregnant, especially in the last few days. The morning sickness has decided to appear in the middle of the night and my skin officially hates me and anything I put on it. But I am indulging in every moment because now I know how quickly those moments can be taken away.
I was angry when I lost the first pregnancy. I was angry at myself and everyone else. I needed someone or something to blame and it took time to realize that I had nowhere to place that blame. After that I was sad..very sad. All I wanted was to continue on like nothing had happened and like I had doctor's appointments to schedule and decisions to make about baby furniture. Instead, I was empty; literally and figuratively. I have never experienced grief of such magnitude and I had no idea what to do with it. I have to say that even though I have not gone to church in a very long time and am not the first to jump on the religion train; I prayed. I prayed a lot. I prayed mostly for a chance to breathe and heal my wounds. I prayed for Ryan to have hope and understanding. But mostly I prayed for a little miracle to find me again.
Those six weeks felt like an eternity. In hindsight, I was very lucky. Here we are, waiting on baby. This time with a cautious happiness. I enjoy each day and consider every little moment a milestone. While I'm not approving of nausea or acne, I know it is for a good cause :)
I wish I had a way to see the future just to see how everything works out. I guess it wouldn't be nearly as exciting if I already knew the ending. I'll just have to write this story one day at a time.
Til then..
Thursday 3 February 2011
Dear 2011
I've spent a lot of time comtemplating this blogging nonsense and have officially decided to take it on as my new hobby. I figured it might be a good idea to have a place to breath, bitch and carry on with life without my husabnd wanting to kill me for me neverending whining and gossiping (that's only 50% of the time!). 2011 has been a tough year so far.,,,and we're only one month down! I won't spend time getting into the details because that isn't necessary, but rather talk about where to go from here. I have so many blessings in my life and am so grateful for them. I have a great husband, a loving family and friends that would go to the ends of the earth for me..but I still feel like something is missing. Don't take this the wrong way; I'm not going "out on the open road to find myself" or looking for the impossible answer to life. I'm just looking for that something, whatever it may be, to allow me to give back in some way. Perhaps I might find the answer here. I have heard that relating to someone else's issues/dilemmas/ joys can provide great therapy to the mind of those who take a moment to listen. I hope you're all ears because I've got loads to say....
"You treat life like a picture but it's not a moment that's frozen in time; it's not gonna wait 'yil you make up your mind at all.."
"You treat life like a picture but it's not a moment that's frozen in time; it's not gonna wait 'yil you make up your mind at all.."
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